Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
