My nipple is on Facebook.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
