Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
