Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
