my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
