I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
