Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
My dick has a subreddit
Randomize
