i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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