i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
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He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
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Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
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