He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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