a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
The uberlube is also flammable
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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