I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Randomize
