but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
God, I missed his penis.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
