My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
