she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
