Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I need water and some morals
Randomize
