I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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