I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
