This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
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do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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