Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Randomize