im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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