Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize