Taylor Swift is so right about you.
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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