It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Randomize
