Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
