Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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