they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
