No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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