Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
