I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize