I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
