Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
