Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
