btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
That reminds me...we need to get swords
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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