I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize