Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
