At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
