Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
