I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Randomize
