I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize