I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
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The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
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I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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