Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
