Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
