Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
