There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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