I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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