He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
If that was your dad, he is hot
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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