He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
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i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
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Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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