i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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