i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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