Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
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