dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
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