5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
