I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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