rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
