I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize